Finding My Voice

Critical Incidents

Critical incidents have occurred along my journey that highlight my voice, helped me take my power back, and made me realize that I am right where I need to be. The basis of my assumptions stem from Kegan and Lahey’s three stages of adult psychological development: the socialized mind, the self-authoring mind, and the self-transforming mind (Kegan, 1982). In business I tend to follow Dreyfus and Dreyfus’s Five steps from Novice to Expert (Dreyfus, Dreyfus and Athanasiou, 1986). In most situations we seek guidance from those individuals that are Subject Matter Experts (SME’s), but these assumptions can be rigid, yet they can be utilized in a manner that alludes to their true insight.

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These models are the underlying foundation of how I show up, changing my approach depending on the openness or willingness of the organization that I am auditing, this indicates that I am in transition between a socialized mind that is seeking comfort and safety in conformity to a self-authoring-mind. One that holds values about values and is confident in sharing the reflective engagement in a way that will help grow. Assessing the workforce is necessary, to know that all employees add value, to what extent will be determined through interaction and asking questions. No matter hierarchical position within an organization, we all fall within the five stages from novice to expert.

I worked for an organization that made individually wrapped handwipes. Each machine was stand alone, and independent machine where each operator was responsible for inspecting the product they produced as it ran, which helped to improve quality and reduce scrap. Some machines packaged a wipe a second, making it very difficult to catch bad product. I was watching the operator making product, trying to understand the process, learning, asking questions, and watching each process intently. The operator was talking to me, then all of a sudden, he turned and grabbed product from the speeding line. It scared me at first, then I asked him what happened, he said the machine didn’t package the product correctly. He opened his hand to expose a wipe that was not sealed correctly. He called one of the inspectors to the line to assist with labeling and sorting the product to make sure it did not make it to the customer. Still in awe of what I had just witnessed, I ask the gentleman how he knew the package didn’t seal correctly, he told me that the machine makes a certain sound. Some may overlook that gentleman as just an operator but he was actual anything but that. He may not be labeled as an expert but per Dreyfus and Dreyfus model, he definitely has a certain level of expertise in this case. The operator intuitive and embodied way of being that constitutes the expert level of his engagement.

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I was in Toronto Canada auditing a process. I was working closely with their Research and Development department (R&D), a highly educated group of scientists and engineers that work independently from normal production. Mayhar, an R&D Engineer, and I began to discuss the process they were using to qualify the new part that I was there to witness in production. Mayhar explained that this was the first time that they were running the new product samples on the normal production line. He went on to explain that these trial parts are normally done in a lab. I asked him if he had ever included the production operators in the development products and machine setups, he turned and looked me and said “No.” I was not terribly shocked but realized that this was an opportunity to share my experience with him. I told him that the operator’s involvement will make his job easier if he allows them to be a part of the process by listening to them with an open mind. Don’t look at them and say that will never work, listen to learn and treat them with respect and they will go out of their way to help where they can. They will also help to turn other operators’ perspective in regard to you and they will bring issues to you. My methodology follows that of Michel Foucault’s insights on power: power is exercised not possessed (a distinction between ‘power over’ and ‘power with’) power is ubiquitous – it is always present in all social relations – diffused power is both positive & enabling, and negative & repressive knowledge and power (Foucault and Gordon, 1980). We all desire to be a part of something greater than ourselves and we have experiences in our lives that make us subject matter experts, no matter what level we at.

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I audited a facility in Canada and as an auditor, others look at you as if you are there to just reveal their failures. I remember what it was like to be audited and how stressful it was when there was so much riding on passing. I came into the facility to be supported. When you are nice to people, they will lead you to the problems in processes and with management. I decided to empower them instead of ridiculing them. The following week I was in California at a conference, 25k-30K people in attendance. A co-worker and I was walking back to our booth when I feel a tap on my shoulder. It was Alex, one of the engineers from the audit. Alex looked at my co-worker David and told him that I was the best auditor that they have ever had. I will never forget that day, it validated just how important it is to treat others as I desire others to treat me.

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I’m in Arizona, it’s been a long day so I decided to reward myself with a really nice dinner. I have become accustom to eating alone but tonight, the universe has other plans for me. I make my way to the bar, there is a few seats so I ask the gentleman on the corner, “Is this seat taken,” He replies, “No its not and I don’t bite.” I knew from that moment that we were meant to have a conversation, that I needed to hear or learn from our unfamiliar banter. I was right, we talked for 2-hours. Fred, was a 75-year-old man that had lost his wife. We spoke about age and how we have the preconceived notions that we will die at the age that our parents or grandparents had. That bloodline would hand us the same fate or ticket punch as those before. Fred said, “I’ve made it to my goal of living to be 75-years old, so what do I do now?” I told him to make a new goal, then at that moment I discovered that I really don’t care about living to be a certain age.

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Fred and I talked about work and his family. He shared that he was a gas and oil delivery driver that worked very long hours. You could hear the regret in voice as he talked about not having time to enjoy life more. We have a lot in common, both growing up in a family business and working from a very young age. Our conversation made me ponder my own life and the path that I have and am walking. Fred also tried to negate my internal perception or assumption that I am unattractive. He told me that it was nice to talk to an attractive woman, I didn’t know how to respond. Fred also commended me for not allowing my fears to hold me back from traveling alone, even if it was a work trip. He then told me that I should be careful and pay attention to those around me, especially at gas stations, as we never know where trouble lurks. He told me that our conversation made his semester, which made me feel good. I left the restaurant and called Linda, who amazed me by telling me that my mental health is more important than always putting business first.

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I locked the keys to my rental car in the trunk, something that would have ruined my day before I began my transformation. I would have beat up on myself over a situation that was obviously meant to delay me so I would be at the right place at the right time, to meet Fred, to listen and share our stories. Another huge growth spurt for me. I was able to keep a level head with the understanding that things happen for a reason.

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